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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26672368">Hello, My Old Heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sartiebodyshots/pseuds/sartiebodyshots'>sartiebodyshots</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Winds Change [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AU- Backstory Swap, AU- Class Swap, Backstory spoilers, Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:56:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,496</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26672368</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sartiebodyshots/pseuds/sartiebodyshots</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Caleb has a strong reaction to meeting Thuron in the sewers and tells Nott why.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nott | Veth Brenatto &amp; Caleb Widogast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Winds Change [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1940722</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hello, My Old Heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title from the The Oh Hellos song</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span> Caleb recognizes the armor of the warrior that that they find in the sewers, and it makes his whole body go cold.  Suddenly, he’s not in the stinky sewers of Zadash, but in the goblin camp outside Felderwin.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the warrior attacks them, he’s still reliving the attack that killed him.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Caleb, watch out!” Nott pulling on his sleeve snaps him out of it enough to duck out of the way of the warrior’s strike.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Caleb mumbles.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb reaches awkwardly for his crossbow and tries to pull himself together.  </span>
</p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His hands shake as the others interview him about the magical device they recovered.  Nott still has it balanced in one hand, ignoring the man who is staring at it hungrily to run her other hand over the sides.  She’s looking at it with a hunger of her own.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb is trying to figure out how to do this.  How to ask about prisoners of the dynasty without making it clear why he’s so interested.  He’s told nobody about Yeza and Haf, not even Nott.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...So, are there any other questions?” Mollymauk asks.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb steps forward.  “I think it could be prudent for us to learn more about Xhorhas.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Interested in international politics, eh?” Beau teases.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I will tell you nothing that will hurt the Dynasty,” Thuron says.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m just curious about your people,” Caleb says.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thuron looks him up and down, considering him for a moment before turning his attention back to the beacon.  “I am not here to educate you on my people.  I am here to return to my people what is rightfully ours.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know if we should give it back,” Nott says, holding it in both hands now.  “Whatever it is, it’s powerful and old.  And obviously important.  I don’t know if handing it back is a good idea.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thuron struggles against his bond at her words.  “That beacon is important.  Keeping it is tantamount to murder.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nott squints, looking him intently.  “How so?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I will not divulge my country’s secrets,” Thuron says.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then I don’t think that we should give this to him,” Nott says, wrapping her arms around the dodecahedron.  “This could be a weapon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It helps them make babies, Nott!  That’s not a weapon!” Jester points out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It is in a war,” Nott says, ignoring Thuron’s struggles.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think we should get involved,” Mollymauk says.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Giving it back is getting involved,” Nott argues, accent getting stronger with her irritation.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mollymauk looks like he wants to stride over there and pluck the thing out of Nott’s arms and hand it to Thuron himself, but he’s not sure if he has enough support to do that, quite.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I agree with Nott,” Caleb says.  Mollymauk rolls his eyes at this expected occurrence, and even Fjord looks a little over it.  “Giving him this beacon is picking a side.  I am not certain that this is the correct one.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I also don’t really want to give it back to him,” Beau says, squinting.  “We could just dump everything off at the Cobalt Soul.  Make it their problem.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But the babies!” Jester says.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s a powerful artifact,” Nott says earnestly.  “Who knows what impact giving it to them could have?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It is ours by right!  Your people stole it from us,” Thuron says.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe we </span>
  <em>
    <span>should</span>
  </em>
  <span> just give it back, if nobody else wants to drop it all off at the Cobalt Soul.” Beau says.  “This feels all way above our paygrade.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fjord?” Mollymauk asks.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I say we set it down, untie him, and walk away,” Fjord says.  “Doesn’t seem like our concern and like Beau said, way above our paygrade.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Seems like we’ve come to a consensus,” Mollymauk says, holding out his hand.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nott is glaring up at Mollymauk, and for a moment, Caleb thinks that she’s going strike out and bolt with the beacon.  If she does, Caleb will back her completely.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine,” Nott says.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nott sets the beacon down on the ground.  “We’ll leave the beacon here, and then he can do whatever he will with it.  Accidentally leave it behind.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatever you need to tell yourself,” Mollymauk says.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nott gives him this look, and Caleb doesn’t quite know how to describe it.  Something feral, something dark.  It makes him shiver a bit, even if it isn’t directed towards him.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The dark look stays on her face as they let Thuron go and they watch him flee through the caverns.  </span>
</p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Later that night, when they’ve taken the beacon back from the crownsguard and Caleb and Nott have sequestered themselves down in the basement, Nott smiles wide. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know what this is, but I know it’s important,” Nott says, patting the lead lined box that the beacon is hidden in.  “I’m not glad Thuron died, but I’m glad we have this back.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb is twisting his shirt between his fingers, staring at the box that the beacon is hidden in. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not going to hurt you, I don’t think,” Nott says, misinterpreting his concern.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I tell you something, Nott?  Something that I have never told anyone else?” Caleb says uncertainly.  He is going to tell Beauregard, too, but he wants to tell Nott first.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nott sets the box aside and he suddenly has her full, undivided attention.  He’s suddenly reminded of being back on the farm as a child; sometimes, he would have to climb up to the second story of the barn and he would always walk very carefully along the edge, certain that any division of attention would result in him falling to his doom.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was not always a goblin.  I was born a human boy to a family of farmers,” Caleb says haltingly.  “I married my school sweetheart, which is common in Felderwin, and I became the alchemist’s husband, a farmer no more.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb swallows hard, not quite able to meet Nott’s gaze.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There was a band of goblins by the town.  One day, Yeza- my husband- and I were out with our daughter, Haf.  They captured us and took us back to their camp, kept us for days.  I don’t know how long after, other people attacked the camp and we were able to get free.  Haf wouldn’t let me carry her, and I knew she was getting too big for Yeza to carry, but I ended up running too fast for them,” Caleb can feel his voice growing higher pitched, desperate for Nott to understand as he can feel the panic set in.  Somehow he’s both avoided thinking about this and thought about nothing else.  “I turned back to find them.  I had almost reached them when somebody killed me.  I felt myself die, and when I woke up, I was a goblin.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And what about Yeza and Haf?” Nott asks softly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb shakes his head.  “They were both gone.  I snuck back to Felderwin and they hadn’t been back.  I checked my family’s farm, too.  The goblins were pretty much all dead when I found them, so I think the attackers took my husband and daughter.  And Nott, they were dressed like Thuron.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nott gets to her feet and paces back and forth.  She rubs her face, apparently considering what he’s said.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s awful, Caleb.  I’m sorry,” Nott says.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You shouldn’t be sorry, Nott.  I ran away.  I left my husband and daughter to be captured by the Xhorhasians.  I got what I deserve, but I just need to make sure that they’re safe,” Caleb says, voice quavering.  “I need to find them, and I need to make sure that they’re safe.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There are tears welling up in his eyes, and he blinks them away harshly.  His feelings don’t matter at all, except now that he’s started thinking about everything that happened properly, and that means that he can’t stop picturing Yeza and Haf in increasingly bad situations.  He has no idea what Xhorhasian prisons are like, but he imagines them in a dark room.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nott crosses over to him and pulls him into a tight hug.  Caleb stiffens for a moment, no longer used to contact outside of combat, but he relaxes into the comforting feeling.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not your fault,” Nott murmurs against him.  “I know you feel like it is, but I want you to know that I don’t blame you, and I know your husband won’t either.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just want them both to be safe,” Caleb says softly.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nott pulls away, squeezing his shoulders and looking him right in the eye.  “We will find your family.  If the people we’re with don’t want to go, I’ll go with you to Xhorhas.  It may take a little time, but we will go and since we have the beacon, we have some sort of leverage.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Caleb says sincerely.  “You are a great friend to me, Nott.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nott smiles wide.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You are a great friend to me as well, Caleb.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Caleb doesn’t quite know how that can be true, but he’ll half believe it in this moment. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hiiii, I decided to keep working on this AU! Meeting Astrid and Eadwulf really set something off, I guess.  I'm going to (hopefully) be picking bits of the story here and there to rewrite in this au.  I realize realistically the story would be RADICALLY different but also..... I don't want to rewrite ALL of critical role lmao.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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